" I implore you, my child; observe heaven and earth, consider all that is in them, and acknowledge that God made them out of nothing (ex nihilo), and that mankind comes into being in the same way..." 2 Maccabees 7:28

Friday, March 14, 2008

It's early...

It's 1:45 am and I can't sleep. Sometimes I have strange dreams- not scary, just strange. And they linger. Woke up half an hour ago thinking about ALL the decisions that I need to make soon... I heard a talk once about the difficulty of the early morning hours. She said if you visualize grace and will as 2 separate faucets that both need to be turned on at the same time; those first hours (or all the night hours, I might add) are difficult because, although the faucet of grace is still on full, the faucet of my own will is not. We have to make a conscious effort to engage our will at these times when we feel weak.

I had a strange dream before my surgery - it was not a nightmare, although it did have an element of fear to it. I was driving my car near a freeway overpass; on the side of the road was a little boy running as fast as he could. I pulled my car over and caught up with him and asked him what was wrong, running beside him. He said he was being chased by a monster and was scared. I felt so much compassion for him- I said, well then, we will run together. As soon as I grabbed his little hand, I could feel the wrath of the monster (I could never see the monster, it was always just out of sight but I could feel it's presence) blazing up against me as well. I was scared, but I was also so happy to be here with this little boy that the fear was secondary. It was actually a calming dream, and I woke from it strangely comforted.

Had another dream that Scott and Kimberly Hahn visited me in the hosital and brought me a huge box of cabbages, because "cancer hates cabbage!"

I hope you all wake refreshed and at peace, and I will pray right now for all of you in your own struggles. God bless!

1 comment:

Xerofall said...

I had a weird dream last night that I was part of a race of underwater creatures, only I was acting... and I soon was running short of air. I remember thinking, I must breathe, but I'm under water, I'll drown. So I held my breath for as long as I could.

I literally woke up gasping for air. Like I was dangerously close to not waking up... that's scary.

Still, dreams are mega-cool. It's our brain writing fiction.

Much love,