" I implore you, my child; observe heaven and earth, consider all that is in them, and acknowledge that God made them out of nothing (ex nihilo), and that mankind comes into being in the same way..." 2 Maccabees 7:28

Thursday, March 27, 2008

High Maintenance Woman



Music hath charms to soothe a SAVAGE BREAST, To soften rocks, or bend a knotted oak. - William Congreve

Note that the quote refers to BREAST, not beast which was what I had thought it was all my life. I only opened with that line because it brings up the topic of savage breasts, which is what this post is about. Other than that, the quote is entirely irrelevant.
You'd think that after a mastectomy, if nothing else, it would be faster to get ready in the morning, wouldn't you? Well, you'd be wrong. After the surgery, Kaiser sent me home with these 2 little mastectomy camisoles; complete with adjustable cushion things that attach to the front with velcro, and pockets for your surgery drains (if you want more info on the drains, I can tell you about it in an individual email. I took pictures to send to my sister who I would've thought could handle it, but she wrote to me that she unassumingly opened the email while eating breakfast and the pictures made her feel "kinda funny". )

So anyway, these little cushiony things are deceptively complicated. First you have to take the right amount of stuffing out of it to make your two sides appear balanced (another advantage to having a bilateral mastectomy- at least I would be symmetrical). Then you have to get it attached at the right part of your chest. I gave myself 20 minutes in the morning to wrestle with those little savages and still make it to mass on time, but it took 30. Even then I had to conceed the battle and ended up leaving the house looking like the darker side of plastic surgery (one side subtly higher and the other side most definitely larger). Fortunately the weather is still cool enough to excuse a light wool coat. Don't know what Ill do when it gets warmer- I guess that's a problem for another day.

5 comments:

Kasia said...

I like the quote. I read it just after Gavin had been screaming for an hour, refused to take a nap, would throw himself into a protest-cling around my legs and feet if I tried to put him down, all the while screaming and crying. (Very unlike Gavin, I know.) Finally I put him in his high chair, against his wishes, and pushed play on his baby CD. Savage beast calmed for now.

Faith said...

Actually the quote is specifically savage BREAST, not beast.

rebecca said...

Hello! I am so glad to get your blog address... Hope gave it to me, hope that is alright :)

I thought the quote very interesting and fitting... you wonder why he wrote that... I don't know the author too well, but I wonder if might have known someone with breast cancer or something.

Speaking of which, you are in my prayers Faith. By your blogging, you seem to be in good spirits about this... like you said, should we not expect bad things? But I am really a complainer when bad things happen, so I admire your attitude. I am sure you are helping many souls out of purgatory, or something, hang in there, and definitely keep your humor ;)

Well my friend, it has been too long that we have been out of touch. Where are you these days? Email when you get a chance, you are in my prayers. Love your photo on this blog :)

love,
Becky (england) Weber
rebecca@catholicboard.com

Kasia said...

There you go again, changing famous quotes! First the Bible (in the beginning...) and now this!

Br. Robert, OP said...

Vanity, thy name is Faith!

I bet the last time you stuffed your bra was seventh grade!