Bed To Couch Kind Of Day

Sorry for the lack of a post yesterday- I went from my bed to the couch back to bed again. Just one of those days- kind of wobbly on my feet. Other than that, not so bad.

I did go to my first breast cancer support group, which was very nice. I wasn't sure what to expect, but it was not depressing at all. Very practical. We all took off our wigs or scarves or whatever; reminded me of the scene in the children's book "The Witches" by Roald Dahl. According to the story, witches have no hair and squared off toes- they are always shoved into uncomfortable shoes and have to wear wigs against their bare scalp. At their conventions, the first thing they do is cover the windows, lock the doors, take off their high heeled shoes and wigs and scratch their itchy scalps. So our meeting was a little like that, without the squared- off toes.

Actually there was one woman who had not yet had the surgery but was considering the same one I had, so I was showing her my scars. Right then a doctor walked by the glassed in meeting room. A bit embarrassing, but the woman facilitating the meeting says the doctors who walk by this room at this time know there's no telling what may be happening, so they walk at their own risk. Maybe we should charge admission, I'm thinking...

In Disease Update news: Got to talk to the Breast Care Coordinator about the whole Radiation thing- why my case was put back on the table and why it was taken off again. She fleshed out the picture a bit more. Evidently, although they didn't quite have the amount of clear margins upon removal of the tumor post surgery, they had to weigh that with the risks posed by the Radiation (there's lots of these lose/ lose situations involved in cancer...) Because of my body type (thin) the risk of damaging the implant, the bone or organs is greater and more significant long- term; they felt that those risks outweighed the potential benefit of Radiation. However, all the tissue that would be of concern is now ABOVE the implant (as the implant goes under the muscle of the chest wall, beneath where the tumor was) and will be able to be checked regularly via ultrasound for any concerns. And I am really more scared of Radiation than chemotherapy, precisely because of the long- term concerns.

Got a beautiful letter from She She (of She She Says fame). Her real name is Sheila, not She She but I continue to call her She She which is really rather ridiculous. I mean, I don't call Christina "Windshield", do I? Sheila wrote me a letter that is going to generate about a 10 page response, unfortunately I only have energy for a page or so a day. But I'm not going to cut this one short- too much to say!

Thank you all for your cards, your phone calls, your flowers, your letters, your gifts, your visits, your photo sessions, your prayers, your trying on shower caps to see how you would look bald... all the dozens of ways as unique and original as you are that show me what it means to be loved.

Love, Faith