Fear of Flying

I went out to visit friends in Seattle; this was the first flight I'd been on since last January when we almost crashed. I thought I'd be okay, but it was not my finest hour. From the minute the plane took off my heart rate accelerated and I couldn't really calm down, even when the flight was smooth. Every jiggle and bump made my palms break out in a sheen of sweat ( I could actually see it) and I was shaking slightly from take off to landing, but really shaking after landing. This is going to put a crimp on my love of travelling. There was a really nice lady sitting next to me; she said, "honey, you don't like flying, do you?" How could she tell? Was it my dialated pupils? The way I braced myself on the seat in front of me with every bump? Praying the Hail Mary out loud?
She said "I'm here for you, whenever you need me". What a nice person.

I'm thinking about trading in my frequent flier credit card for one that wins you points towards cruises instead.

By the way, Feb. 12th was the one year anniversary of my diagnosis.

Humility... (sigh)

BroRo and I were talking tonight; I was telling him how I was writing an email today and, in the reread, I realized how arrogant it sounded. So I edited it, to make it sound more humble. And as I was doing so I thought to myself that, in the end, humility is just a virtue that can't be faked. True humility, when we see it, is jarring in its simplicity.

The closest I can get to true humility is to admit that I ain't got it. Lord, don't let me blow these chances that you offer me, I don't want to spend my life admiring humility from afar, but never being intimately acquainted with it.